


Echo

by SerMisty



Series: PolyPearls [23]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Blue Pearl is mute..., F/F, Multi, White Pearl Theory, a new headcanon about Blue is born here, general Homeworld racism and discrimination, inspired by the informations about homeworld we got in too short to ride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 16:54:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7582225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerMisty/pseuds/SerMisty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Homeworld is afraid of the Renegade, there must be a reason. <br/>Blue was never supposed to discover it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Echo

**Author's Note:**

> finally finished it! This fic has been inspired by the hints about Homeworld we got from Peridot in Too Short To Ride, and goes headcanon from there. A new theory about Blue is now born!   
> I hope you enjoy :D And thank you for all of your constants support, guys! <3

Blue doesn't want to keep track of the days since White has gone, because it’s better to believe that it was always _just yesterday_ that she was kissing her for the last time. But she knows for a fact that it hasn’t been much time when she first finds her mugshots spread all over Homeworld. 

There are a lot of them. Less than Rose Quartz’s mugshots, of course, but still more than she expected. White’s face occupies the whole screen of those little robots flying around, and when a gem comes near, a recorded voice – a Jade, probably, Blue is extremely skilled in recognizing the kind of gemstones simply by their voices – starts talking, echoing all around. 

«Reward. The Renegade, White Diamond’s defective Pearl, is charged for the assassination of Pink Diamond. She's a public danger. Wanted dead». 

Blue finds this recording extremely interesting. They make her see White’s face, first of all. And they say “she”, as almost as she was on the same level of other gems, and not just a Pearl, not just an object.   
What really puzzles Blue is why she is wanted _dead_.

Especially because Rose Quartz is wanted _dead or alive_. 

«It’s obvious» Yellow dismisses it when Blue shares her doubts. «Why should they waste their time taking a Pearl to trial? They will break her and disperse her shards to the wind».

Blue has the feeling that there is something more than that, but doesn’t push the matter. Yellow is trying her best to fake indifference, as if it doesn’t concern her, as if White wasn’t her lover too, but Blue has seen her cry and scream and knows that she misses her just as much as she does. 

When she hugs her, Yellow doesn’t put up any fight. She hugs her back. 

 

*** 

 

«This is ridiculous. White would never do that». 

Blue agrees, and she squeezes Yellow’s hand in search of comfort. But the image on the screen won’t change, and neither does the Jade’s voice: it explains how the Renegade has brutally smashed dozens of innocent gems, everything confirmed by the video that is being shown everywhere, all the time. 

«That Pearl doesn’t even _look_ like White!» Yellow hisses, pointing at the screen with her free hand. «White doesn’t move like that. They can fool everyone else, but not us. And what a coincidence that they can’t get a good frame of her face. I bet the gem isn’t even in the right place!» 

Blue nods a couple of time with decision. This is not true. They have made a poor Pearl act like that to make the video. There is no other explanation. This is all a set up, and even Yellow admits it, when she usually says that she doesn’t like conspiracy theories. 

But why would they waste time and money for all of this? 

She asks Yellow by moving her fingers, and Yellow slowly shakes her head. 

«I have no idea» she admits. «It almost looks like they’re trying to give White an even worse criminal record. But I’ve never seen anything like this, not even for Rose Quartz. I don’t understand». 

She scratches her sideburns, then sighs. 

«Maybe you were right» she says. «Maybe there is something weird going on». 

Blue smiles, and thanks her for her trust by gently placing her head on her shoulder. Yellow squeezes her hand a little harder and sighs again. 

«I miss her, you know». 

Blue kisses her cheek. She does too. 

 

*** 

 

The first time Yellow snaps, losing all of the self-control she is so proud of, is during one meeting between their Diamonds and a group of old veteran Quartz soldiers: two Citrines, three Amethysts, one Tourmaline and four Jaspers. They look even bigger and scarier than Quartzes use to be, and Blue knows that they could break her with one finger if they only wished to.   
These meetings are becoming more and more common, because White and Rose Quartz have already destroyed a couple of minor colonies and all their injectors. Blue is scared that one day they will enter the room with her shards in their hands, but at the same time she is amazed and proud of what White has accomplished. 

She can’t tell Yellow however, not during these meetings, because they are not alone in the waiting room. Those Quartzes are important enough to own Pearls, and they can’t be affectionate in front of them.   
Most of them stay quiet, in silence, Blue can tell immediately that they have recently hatched. The Tourmaline’s Pearl, however, must be even older than she is, and is absolutely unbearable. Lovely and obedient around her Quartz, she is rude and arrogant with other Pearls and with them. 

(When they’re alone, Blue tells Yellow that she looks a little like her when they first met. She’s Gold, even the color is similar. A great dose of kisses is necessary later to rub the offense from Yellow’s face). 

The day Yellow snaps, Gold is walking around the room bragging about something that Blue doesn’t care about. The other Pearls listen and nod, afraid of her or simply searching for consideration.   
Blue signs Yellow how annoying Gold is being, and Yellow snickers, but this draws attention over them. 

«Oh, it’s the quiet one again» Gold grins, and walks towards her. «Amazing that a defect can be the Pearl of a Diamond». 

Before Blue can think of doing something, Yellow pushes her back and stands in between Gold and her. 

«Leave Blue alone» she hisses. «And she’s not defective. Her gem is round, don’t you see?»   
«Admittedly» Gold says. «Unlike your other little friend, isn’t that right?» 

Yellow goes still, and even if she can’t see her face, Blue is sure she’s blushing just as much as she is. 

«What are you talking about?» she coughs.   
«The Renegade, of course. Who else?» and here Gold looks around, waves her hand, encouraging the other Pearls to start laughing with her. «I really don’t understand how White Diamond never realized she was defective. A defect can’t do anything right».   
«Who told you that?» Yellow frowns.   
« _Everyone_ knows that defects are disgusting». 

Blue rubs her neck and lowers her head, wishing Gold could just stop speaking. She notices that Yellow’s hands are closing in fists, and that they’re shaking. 

«White is _not_ disgusting» Yellow growls.   
«Oh, have I hurt your feelings?» Gold laughs. «I’m so sorry she left you for Rose Quartz. And the quiet one will too, probably. Defects like ‘em big». 

Blue didn’t know Yellow could punch so hard. 

There is a collective gasp from the other Pearls and then Gold stumbles backwards, almost falls. She gasps for breath as she holds her chest, right on the gem that Yellow has hit. Before Gold can say anything, Yellow grabs her arm and points a warning finger against her. 

«Don’t you dare talk about my friends ever again» she snarls. «We're all Pearls. We should help each other, not - not _this_. And I’m serious. I will make you regret it». 

She lets go of her only when Gold nods quickly. There is silence when Yellow turns around, brushing Blue’s hair and asking in a whisper if she’s okay. 

«Sorry» she adds. She looks away. 

Blue hates violence and hates seeing Yellow practice it – _please don’t let your Diamond tell you this is the solution to everything please_ – but for once, she understands where this comes from and cannot blame her. She touches her own gem and then Yellow’s, and smiles.   
A single tear shines in Yellow’s eyes. 

«She should be here» she breathes, and Blue squeezes her hands, and nods, and sighs.   
«You two are completely cracked!» Gold screeches from the opposite side of the room, but they don’t even hear her. 

A couple of days later, the group of veteran Quartzes finds White and Rose Quartz. They all get poofed and bubbled. Gold and the other Pearls are never seen again, and Blue feels bad, but not so much.   
She likes to think that White, after all, _is_ here. 

 

*** 

And then she sees her. 

Blue almost cannot believe it when White appears in the Cloud Arena and starts fighting in front of her eyes. Her movements are graceful and strong and skilled. 

(Yellow was right. The Pearl in the video didn’t look like her at all). 

Her Diamond smirks confidently, and the Sapphire’s words echo in her mind.   
_The rebels will be captured_ , she has said, and Blue joins her hands together and prays that she’s wrong. 

Blue Diamond doesn’t look at her – she never looks at her – so Blue presses herself against the wire mesh that protects the walking room and watches. White holds her swords as if her hands were built for them, and Blue is amazed and confused and almost envious. 

Is it because she’s defective, that she can? 

Her throat itches, she would like to scream, to call her – she can’t do anything but look and hope. But White is too far away, and she can’t see her, and Blue doesn’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing. 

Then it doesn’t matter anymore, because all eyes are fixated on the Fusion. 

She isn’t sure how it happened – she wasn’t looking – but she stares when the new gem falls apart. The Sapphire of before and a Ruby fall on the ground, and Blue turns around again to see White but only steals a glance before she and Rose Quartz disappear.   
It’s in that moment that Blue knows, she just _knows_. 

When White is around, something amazing always happens. 

 

*** 

 

She’s not the only one that knows. 

Blue isn’t even sure it’s been a whole day after the attack at the Cloud Arena when Yellow Diamond strides into the room, the door slamming loudly behind her. Blue shivers next her Diamond’s throne, trying to look even smaller than she is. 

«I told you that something like this would have happened, and you never listened!» Yellow Diamond barks.   
«Please, come on in» Blue Diamond comments, but her sarcasm is clearly not appreciated. «What are you talking about?»   
«I cannot believe you let that worthless piece of rock go after what it did!»

Blue doesn’t dare to move. She searches Yellow with her eyes, but she doesn’t see her. Yellow Diamond has come alone, and she’s angry, and Blue is afraid.   
Her Diamond sighs and gets up, raising her hands in surrender. 

«I know. What happened is disgusting. But I could have never suspected that my Sapphire-»   
«I’m not talking about that abomination» Yellow Diamond cuts in with a growl. «That’s only the disastrous outcome, and your problem. No, I’m talking about Rose Quartz’s defective fellow!» 

_White_.   
She’s talking about White. 

Blue Diamond tilts her head. 

«Do you mean the Renegade?» she inquires, but she hasn’t even closed her mouth that Yellow Diamond has one warning finger pointed at her.   
«Don’t» she hisses. «use that name».   
«Why don’t you calm down and explain to me why are you so agitated?» 

Yellow Diamond is about to reply, and she’s probably going to use a lot of words that will make Blue cringe, but then her eyes fall upon her and Blue goes completely still.   
If she moves, she’s sure Yellow Diamond will attack her like one of the corrupted gems that her Diamond sometimes likes to watch fight each other, like beasts. It’s horrible. And it’s horrible to feel like that. 

«Send your Pearl away» she says. She orders.   
«Why?» Blue Diamond laughs a little, puzzled.   
«Just send it away, will you?» 

Her Diamond shrugs, compliant, and turns to her. Not a single word, just an annoyed gesture that indicates the door. Blue is more than happy to bow and oblige, walking fast but not running until she reaches the big door at her left.   
She feels Yellow Diamond’s eyes on her while she closes the heavy door behind her. 

She looks around, but the hallways is empty. All the other gems are dealing with the Fusion problem.   
Blue gulps, holds her breath, and slowly puts her ear against the door. 

«You’re acting crazy» she hears her Diamond say.   
«No, _you_ are acting like we aren’t in a very precarious situation!» Yellow Diamond replies.   
«Don’t be dramatic. It’s not the first rebellion we face. Yes, Pink Diamond is dead but-»   
«I couldn’t care less about Pink Diamond! What happened in your court today is the living demonstration that wherever that defective being is, something goes out of control». 

Blue agrees, even if she wouldn’t put it in this way. She would use the words _new_ and _amazing_ , but she can’t talk after all, so it doesn’t concern her. 

«I didn’t know you were so superstitious» Blue Diamond chuckles. «And I assume you’re talking about the Renegade again?»   
«I told you to stop using that name» it’s a growl, and it sends automatic shivers down Blue’s spine. Yellow Diamond _is_ terrifying. «Stop elevating it from other Pearls. Stop treating it like a common gem. Stop giving it a personality, stop showing its mugshot everywhere and _stars_ , stop making fake news about it». 

Blue doesn’t dare to make a sound, but a jolt of pride and relief flows in her body. They were right: it was all a scene. 

«Alright, I admit that it may have been a mistake» Blue Diamond concedes. «But for the rest, I really don’t get why you’re so upset. It’s just a servant who rebelled. We have everything under control». 

Blue hears Yellow Diamond’s steps come near the door and immediately jerks back, ready to hide if she opens the door. She doesn’t, the footsteps indicating that she’s walking around the room, and Blue puts her ear back where it was, cautiously. 

«You really don’t get it, do you?» Yellow Diamond sounds annoyed and – worried? _Scared_? Is it possible? «This isn’t just a servant who rebelled. This is a Pearl, _a Pearl_ , that discovered its powers! _Powers we tell them they don’t have_!» 

Blue frowns, confused.   
What is going on? 

«Yeah, I get it» Blue Diamond huffs. «But she was defective. We’ve been lucky. If her gem had been round, now _that_ would have been a problem». 

But if her gem had been round, White wouldn’t have been defective.   
If her gem had been round, White wouldn’t have had powers. 

Blue bites her lip. 

Isn’t that right? 

«Exactly. We’ve been lucky. And you are pushing luck too hard» Yellow Diamond’s steps are no more audible. She's probably standing tall and uptight. «We have to shatter that thing immediately and act like it never existed. It is a threat to our whole system, don’t you see?» 

She's afraid.   
Yellow Diamond is afraid. 

«She’s just a Pearl» Blue Diamond laughs. «A single little defective Pearl. She can’t do anything». 

Blue presses her ear against the door until her face hurts.   
She needs to hear.  
She needs to hear everything. 

«You laugh. You think this is funny?» Yellow Diamond growls. «Yes, you’re right, it’s just one Pearl. But what if another Pearl sees your fake news, thinks the Renegade is amazing, and tries to see if it has powers too? What do you think would happen if it discovers _it has them_?» 

For the first time, Blue is glad she has no voice. She opens her mouth, but no loud gasp comes out. 

«What do you think would happen if all Pearls discover their powers?» Yellow Diamond goes on. «Do you have a vague idea of how many Pearls are out there? If them all revolted against us, we would be doomed».   
«Don’t be ridiculous» Blue Diamond laughs again, but Blue can hear the tension in her voice. «They’re tiny and fragile. We could smash them under our feet». 

Probably. 

«Yes, of course. But what if other kinds of gems try the same? What if them all end up discovering their true powers? What if every single gem alive discovers that we have lied to them since the moment they came out of the ground?» 

Blue’s lips are dry. She wets them. They dry again soon after. 

«These are _what ifs_ » Blue Diamond replies. «You really think all of this could happen just because a single Pearl discovered how to summon a spear?»   
«After what happened today, yes I do» Yellow Diamond retorts. «Today, that single Pearl made two gems fuse. Tomorrow, it may discover that us, the Diamonds, the rulers, are actually powerless. Would you like that?» 

Blue’s legs cede for a second and it’s only the fear of being heard and the self-preservation that keep her standing. 

The Diamonds are what? 

«Of course not» Blue Diamond says, and the anxiety in her voice is now evident. «But I find it highly improbable».   
«But are you willing to risk it? Are you willing to risk that a worthless Pearl tells everyone that you have no powers apart from a big mass and a questionable taste for aesthetic? Because this is what will happen if you keep treating it like more than a broken shard». 

What Blue is listening to… It’s big. It’s bigger than her wildest fantasy. It’s the lie which Homeworld is built on. It’s bigger than everything and Blue can’t hold it, not alone. 

Blue Diamond sighs. 

«Alright» she surrenders. «I will take all the mugshots down… And I won’t allow her to be called the Renegade anymore. But my soldiers have to give her a name».   
«No, they don’t» Yellow Diamond hisses. «It doesn’t deserve a name. It doesn’t deserve anything. And stars – use the right pronouns. You’re treating it like a gem. It’s less than a gem. It’s a defect!»   
«Alright, alright! I will do as you say. Are you happy now?» 

Yellow Diamond breaths slowly and loudly. Blue’s ears feel dull. 

«I won’t be until I see its shards».   
«You do realize» Blue Diamond comments, «that by doing all of this, you’re treating it like more than a _worthless Pearl_ , too?»   
«I’m treating it like a threat. Rose Quartz may be a danger to our colonies, but that Pearl is a danger to our whole society. I will protect Homeworld and my reign from it - but don’t expect me to save you when you’re falling». 

The footsteps tells Blue that she’s going away, and when she hears the other door slamming shut, she lets herself breathe again. 

Stars. 

She slides against the door until she’s sitting on the ground. Her gem tickles, she closes her eyes shut and tries to process all this new information. 

The first coherent thought that flows through her mind is, _I could hold a sword too_. 

 

*** 

When they meet at Yellow Diamond’s castle, and the Diamonds leave them alone, Blue doesn’t waste a single minute. She grabs Yellow by the hand, drags her to the further corner of the room, and projects a hologram. It doesn’t have an image, of course, but the voices are perfectly audible – the conversation that should have never been heard echoes in the room until the hologram disappears, and the air is heavy and the walls are whispering. 

Yellow’s reaction is exactly what Blue was expecting. 

«Are you kidding me?» 

She jerks away when Blue tries to touch her. She covers her ears. 

Blue understands. At first, she wished she hadn’t heard anything, neither.   
But then she thought about it.   
And she’s glad she has. 

«No» Yellow’s laugh is hysterical, she’s shaking. «No. This is not happening». 

Blue makes a step forward, but Yellow draws back. 

«Are you trying to follow White’s footsteps? Amazing, really, but I won’t have any part of it. _This_ » she gestures around, without a real direction «is not true. Forget about it». 

Yellow is right. _This_ is not true. The life they live, the things they believe, they are not true.   
White knew before everyone else. 

Blue misses her. Now, right now, she has never missed her more than now. 

«Maybe they knew you were listening, and they are just waiting for us to show this around so they can prove we are defective and subversive!» Yellow starts walking around the room, her pupils as little as pins, hands in her hair, desperately trying to hold on safety. «I don’t believe it, Blue. I _can’t_ believe it. What does it even mean?» 

It means that they have to let go. To fall into a new rail of thoughts that they never dared to explore.   
It means that it’s too big for Blue alone, and Yellow has to help her, stars, if she loves her, she _has_ to help her. It's the only thing Blue will ever ask. 

Another step forward. Blue raises her hand, opens her mouth, but her mouth is silent. As always. 

Yellow doesn’t notice her. She keeps walking around, as in trance. 

«Why did you have to show me? We’re already in enough danger, we can’t think about this». 

But they have to, it’s the only way. 

«No powers? How can the Diamonds have no powers? They’re so big, and strong, and… And they’re the Matriarchs!» 

Yellow is being too loud. Blue’s ears start to rumble.   
If she could just _calm down_ for a second. 

«White can summon her spear, sure, but she’s _defective_. We know. Everyone knows. It’s not her fault, she’s been made like that. She’s been made with powers because she’s defective, we’re not, and we’re perfectly fine!» 

It’s not true, it’s not true, Blue feels her eyes burn with tears. 

«How could they be lying? Someone must know. They can’t possibly be lying to everyone. The Quartzes, they must know the truth… I think… I won’t believe that everything I’ve heard since the beginning is a lie!» 

Yellow keeps talking and talking and Blue is crying and _stars_ if she could just-

_«Just listen!»_

And there is echo, and then silence. 

Blue doesn’t understand what has just happened. Not when the echo ends, not when Yellow turns around slowly, still shaking, looking shocked.   
She looks behind her. She searches whoever has just spoken, because that’s not Yellow’s voice nor the Diamonds’ nor another gem’s she has the slight knowledge of.   
There is a single voice on Homeworld that Blue doesn’t recognize. 

Her throat is itchy. It almost hurts. She puts one hand on her neck, it pulsates. It pulsates. 

There is a single voice on Homeworld that Blue doesn’t recognize, and it hers. 

Tears fall down her cheeks, wet the side of her lips, drop on the floor.   
Yellow makes one step forward, hesitant. 

«Did you just-?» 

And Blue nods and nods and nods and cries.   
Yellow is in front of her in a matter of seconds. Blue doesn’t see her, not clearly, between hair and tears making her vision blurry, but she feels her hands cup her face trying not to shake and she feels safe and happy and scared. 

«You talked» Yellow confirms what Blue still can’t believe, and she suddenly understands what Yellow must have felt just before – she wants to believe but it’s difficult because it’s against everything you’ve ever lived. «You actually – stars. Your _voice_ ».

Blue can tell by her tone that she’s crying, too, but she can’t be really sure. In this moment, she isn’t sure of anything. She keeps rubbing her neck and her throat feels itchy and hot and it hurts but Blue has never felt better. 

(She thinks she would like White to see her. White never goes away from her mind). 

«Do it again» Yellow whispers. «Do it again». 

Blue opens her mouth, but only the familiar silence answers. It feels reassuring, even, because she doesn’t know what to say – or maybe it’s reassuring because Yellow is holding her, she’s not sure.   
Yellow immediately places a kiss on her forehead. 

«Don’t worry, it’s fine. You’re fine. You did it. Stars. That’s fine». 

Blue is not even certain she’s talking to her anymore. She moves closer and Yellow answers her gesture by surrounding her with her arms, holding her while Blue dries her tears against her shoulder.   
Her ears hold on the echo that isn’t there anymore. 

«Alright» Yellow murmurs. «So they lied. They always have. Alright». 

Of course, in front of this there is no possible denying. Any last shred of doubt housing in Blue herself is gone, and the lies resound in her mind – _it’s been made without a speech function, it can’t talk, it will never talk just like Blue Diamond wants_ – but they’re just as worthless as Blue thought she was.   
Yellow is still shaking when she pushes her away, her movements usually sharp trying to be as kind and reassuring as possible. 

«I believe you» she says, and one hand dares to brush her bangs aside so that she can look at Blue in her eyes. «But we can’t tell anyone». 

Blue’s jaw drops in shock. Why shouldn’t they? This is amazing, this can change everything, this could bring White back, this could- 

«You remember Gold, and her friends. Nobody would believe us. There isn’t enough unity between Pearls yet. If we tell just one wrong gem, we’ll be reported and broken». 

But Gold is gone and they will be careful and Pearls will help each other when they discover the truth and Blue can’t bear this weight alone, she just can’t. 

«I’m sorry» Yellow whispers, and gently pulls her close again, Blue keeps shaking her head on her shoulder. «I’m just trying to keep you safe. To keep us safe. One day, maybe… But not now. They’ll break us». 

And Blue knows that she’s right but it hurts anyway, doing nothing hurts and thinking about White and what she has done hurts too.   
Her throat itches and her lungs feel on fire. 

_«Please»._

And Yellow shivers but doesn’t move. 

«I’m sorry» she is, but she’s right, and Blue knows. «White would agree, too. She has always tried to keep us safe». 

This does it. It’s the first time Blue hears Yellow admit it, the first time she considers White’s actions under a different light, and not _betrayal_ or _idiocy_ or _damn it_. Blue takes a deep breath and grasps at Yellow’s shoulder and nods, and holds her close. 

In the room there’s still the echo, heavy and promising.


End file.
